United Mahouts of Epicaricacy

United Mahouts of Epicaricacy
Flag of UME Imperial Flag of the UME Imperial Flag of the UME
UME Motto: UME4LYFE
Team Color	Black
Founder(s)	UTOPOS
Founded	CE: 2008 CN: 2009
Important Links	IRC: #bravenewworld

The United Mahouts of Epicaricacy (UME) is an organisation of self-aggrandising internet trolls who formed in early 2008 and with whom Cybernation has had innumerable run-ins; this page of course points out the unfortunate fact that at one stage they were organising an alliance on Cybernations. They are presently ruled by a mysterious figure known as UTOPOS who appears as deity and symbolic representation of what the UME figure as the highest good in their trollogical religion. UTOPOS is usually referred to by his titular apanage Grand Mahout by members of this organisation. They have also acquired a nasty reputation for botheration of people in Cybernations. Their activities are often malicious and more often downright illegal -- 'Thats illegal' is a common shibboleth within the UME community used facetiously to initiate chat over mIRC. Their activities include: spamming offensive ASCII art on Coldfront; juping channels on coldfront and massbanning everyone with the message UME4LYFE; tricking people into being ZLINED by using words like UME4LYFE on Coldfront which they have gotten banned through query-spamming and sending UME clones onto the network spamming it in every CN-related channel; hacking cybernation players' accounts by exploiting easy passwords; account phishing; Cybernation alliance forum hackings, notably the GATO forum in January 2010; DDOS attacks on Cybernation alliances, notably IRON in 2009; gaining access to government forums such as NPO's in 2010 and posting screenshots of disputable value to their enemies. Notable members include UTOPOS, UNCLE JIM BOB arcofmudkip, League_of_autononous_Boy, Herr Doktor Diogenes Hoch Professor of Trollogy, and galavaly VENI_VIDI_VICI. At bottom, UME has terrorised numerous online nation-simulators and they warrant the condemnation of all the community as internet terrorists and hackers.

Early History of UME City Empires:

Africa: Racism and Revolution.

The UME have raided many games of dubious quality since their formation in early 2008. Most notable is their raid on the online text-based nation simulator City Empires, which they demolished and ruined. UME's ruination was not without earlier precedence in ruination-attempts, there were earlier botched 4channel raids made by known members of the /b/ alliance on Cybernations; for exiles from /b/ on Cybernations founded 'Africa' on City Empires. This little genealogical fact may be of some interest to those who are interested in the imageboard malaise. Africa followed the general development of which the /b/ alliance on Cybernations had by maintaining a quietist foreign policy and developing rather slowly. Let us proclaim that Africa was by far the largest alliance on City Empires. Bicuriously, Africa was intentionally named for its acute propensities to involve highly racial references and language in public announcements. The quantities of racist innuendo were greatly increased by the writing talents of an obscure figure known as UTOPOS, god of CN, whose story we shall relate below in the full panoply of scholarship available to online wiki editors.

City Empires at this stage was only a few months old. The threat of a /b/ alliance drawing on its numbers to obliterate everyone else created a disquieting atmosphere of mutual distrust, leading directly to savage war against the /b/tard alliance of Africa. They said the war was the African War; but Africa called it different, calling it 'The War for African Independence Against the Foreign Oppressors.' Justification of the CB against Africa was difficult to moralise to the masses. That was the case until members of Africa began posting child pornography on the forums and launching DDOS attacks on the web server. The morality of these actions was disputed, and many thought that Africans were being racist by justifying their actions with Fresh Prince of Bel Air quotations. The war ended Africa completely and utterly. In extremis, the 304 cities of Africa were no match against the slightly more mature and combinable 224 cities of the whole world except Africa. Internally, unrest had broken out in the African camp and their IRC channel had exploded.

In the desperation and destruction of Africa's annihilation many factions were formed. All but one of these factions was to live on beyond the hour of doom which had come upon Africa. But, gentle reader, what was that one glaring exception which stood out and proclaimed its existence? It is that exception which has since time immemorial with flute-songs and dithyrambic sways hailed itself as the United Mahouts of Epicaricacy -- acronymically -- UME. The almost primal sound produced by uttering the acronym is said to re-suggest its dionysiac birth in the knee-womb of Africa, under whose cerebral parturition a noble internet god, a cunning wag named Adolph Mohamet of UTOPOS was brought forth.

Post-Africa: Birth of a Mahout

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UME reaches 333 members in CityEmpires.

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City Empires admin oracomm removes UTOPOS for allowing racist city names.

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Second elephant war DOWs: UME has spies in every country.

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Justificationising of CB against UME in the Second Elephant War.

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4chan GET during recruitment: 4chan dissapoint.

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Accusations of racism.

the_UME

the_UME was created after the fall of Africa. Members came from far and wide to join, but especially the usual imageboards, as well as myg0t, [nig], #bravenewworld, and GNAA. Membership grew, reaching three hundred in three days before the admin decided to remove President UTOPOS from the country. Alleging that UTOPOS had allowed in cities with racist names -- after he had been warned or 'wanred.' The wanred episode: from this UME was fortunate to learn that the admin could not spell. Not long after UTOPOS recovered power and UME began to flourish. Thereafter, a vindictive group of jewish players known as New Sparta declared war on UME alleging they had hacked their forum and spammed racist ASCII all over their mIRC clients -- costing them literally tens of dollars in repair damage. UME accepted NS' attacks and their war raged for weeks, dubbed the First Elephant War, with no definitive result. All the while UME recruited more and more and became stronger and stronger each day. Then a peace was arranged between New Sparta and UME after New Sparta's leader resigned from the game.

UME's ascendancy and implosion.

UME had ascended to the top ten countries in the game, and the traditional powers were outraged. UME immediately began terrorising smaller countries. Many were donating heavily to the admin to support their vindictive assaults upon the_UME. But this expenditure was to no avail, as UME was simply an army of demented imageboard users who could be replaced over and over. After raiding and enslaving most of the untreaty'd game UME saw its opportunity to attack and declared war on the whole game citing their race traitor and n***** loving stance in their CB. An incensed world responded immediately. But UME was gone. No sooner had UME declared war with its mighty 400-man nation, the greatest in the game, than had it evaporated into the night. UTOPOS removed all members of UME and deleted his account. A sigh of relief went up. Many players thought it was all over now. UME cities were imploding throughout the whole game and renowned jewish players began making lists of ex-UME and hunting them down a la Nuremberg. UTOPOS cried a tear of pity for his mahouts, and vowed to return again. In the end, the destruction brought down upon City Empires in all this madness was given the name Second Elephant War.

Return of UTOPOS: Third Elephant War & The thousand cities of UME

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Ouch_Wittes (Auschwitz) reaches 400 members in two days.

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Ouch_Wittes (Auschwitz) reaches 500 members moments later.

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Ouch_Wittes at 600 members with other UME factions mspainted.

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David recruitment poster.

UME modernised.

Enter Ouch_Wittes and David

A week later UTOPOS returned and founded a new UME country named Ouch_Wittes, inspired by the name's similarity to the concentration camp Auschwitz. Ouch_Wittes peaked at 666 members and then UTOPOS was removed by the admin. Without a president a country could not recruit more cities. All around Ouch_Wittes the game waged a vengeful war of survival, the Third Elephant War had begun. UTOPOS thereafter founded David, which grew to some 500 members at its peak -- in which the game was deluged with over one thousand mahouts, some 600 in Ouch_Wittes and 500 in David. The elephant war went on for months until Ouch_Wittes was all but gone and David was able to manipulate the world into a peace.

The UME Mega-Rogues

After this UME began using its resources to fund single cities with massive militaries. Due to the flexible nature of the City Empire military system and its support of an excellent feature -- billocking -- UME was able to wield in single cities militaries which could eliminate whole alliances. Combining UME spy technology with this, UTOPOS & Teegeeack were able to rampage throughout the game killing as they pleased until a world-coalition was formed to eliminate them.

UME begins WWII/GWII of City Empires

After the gross war on UME and the rogue-wars most began to migrate from David and Ouch Wittes to Legendary Societies, which was already established as UME IV. Legendary Societies had a majority of its leadership working with UME & UTOPOS. Eventually LSOC become synonymous with UME. For the remainder of the game Legendary Societies' worked on building up the hundreds of UME cities remaining in David and Ouch Wittes and eventually split world politics into two sides: TENT secretly run by UME, and the others, obviously run by ordinary players. While UME's ingame power was gestating, phishing attacks were launched against the playerbase and there was much chaos and mayhem brought down upon them. Meanwhile UME had developed exploits which allowed them to spy on everybody -- seeing much more than a spy attack could show. This enabled UME's military commanders to effectively spreadsheet their enemies' military down to the finer details. With an encyclopedic knowledge of their enemies' vulnerabilities having been acquired a war was inevitable. The resulting war became WWII/GWII of City Empires. The actual end of the war was indecisive, but the military prowess of UME had amazed all. Fortunately there was little to be amazed about for long.

The End of City Empires

Working out an exploit in the forgot my password page UME managed to get into the admins account and began making themselves admins of City Empires. Whole countries were deleted from the world and every account was accessed. UME began forcing their former enemies to nuke each other. The admin rolled the game back after this, but did not fix the hole. UME began again, and again, to ruinate upon the game. From the hack a database of all the usernames/emails had been downloaded and stored on UME's database. The game was brought back online but with so much personal information stolen and so many countries ruined activity sharply decreased -- City Empires is ruined and demolished.