"Nearer My Dizzay To Thee"
| National Anthem|
Wet Dream 
(4,907 days old)
Goon Order of Neutral Shoving
|Statistics as of 07/31/2008|
|Nation Rank||8,059 of 5,242 (153.74%)|
Arrival of the Burkaninjas Edit
- (Second and final version, game over.)
Once upon a time, a young burkaninja emigrated to Southern Africa to escape the tyrannical rule of her older brother. Together with a small band of brave settlers she founded a thriving community on the eastern shore of Kalkfontein, and within days the colony was well on the way to making a happy little country. International communications had just been initiated and things were looking great, but at that point two nearby scavengers attacked. (Long since wiped off the face of Bob, so thouroughly that no information remains on their tribal homes, the attackers were led by joelromero and Flixified.) Answering a recruitment message from the League of Small Superpowers, Louisa was able to get not only political assistance to free her people from attack within two days, but also financial assistance to repair her ravaged country. Full of gratitude, she applied for membership in LOSS and kept building a good home for her subjects.
Time passed, improvements were made, and hilarity was had both at LOSS and in the (since sadly demolished) Black Team Forum complex, where Louisa made the acquaintance of her neighbours in the Coalition of Dark States and Goon Order Of Neutral Shoving.
The Second Great War Edit
Louisaland was still a tiny country at the time Great War 2 broke out, but did her duty in the onslaught on the Confederacy of Independent States. Hazeonya and Finocia were knocked into anarchy and despair in a daring midnight strike, but the lightning response of Troy Nova stalled the war effort the following day. The rest of the war was a blur of attacks and counterattacks, interspersed with friendly conferences with the charming leader of Troy Nova. Friendly relations were established in private after a mere day of fighting, while the war itself ended in ceasefire and peace after less than a week.
The postwar period was a great time of solidarity, where the generous Louisalanders shipped off money and resources to help its neighbours; so much so that the country's own development was neglected. At the same time, postwar depression set in at LOSS, with most of the best member states leaving the League to seek new experiences. Louisa had made friends across Bob, even contemplating joining \m/ at one point, but it was a complete stranger's honey tongue that finally lured her away from LOSS and into the snowy wastes of the New Polar Order.
The Third Great War Edit
Louisaland was warmly welcomed into the NpO but had little time to settle in before Great War 3 broke out. Even before the Polar entry into the war, Louisa had sent her forces against the rogue nation of Marlboro, which (falsely or not) claimed membership in the Orange Defense Network, and as the call to arms echoed through the Empire, she was quick to find fresh targets. An initial attack on illiland of the National Alliance of Arctic Countries went very well, until the desperate enemy country's cries for help brought in their compatriots Hollow Bastion, Something, and Skeptical Cynics. At the same time, Marlboro reneged on agreed-upon surrender terms and renewed the fight, and faced with five enemy armies Louisaland was soon brought down to ZI.
Luckily, the enemy coordination was at this time breaking down, allowing Louisaland's battered civilians to raise a Peace Mode wall around the sadly diminished national area. Wild rumours claimed that the NAAC would launch a full nuclear assault on the Initiative, and a concerned NpO compatriot hurriedly sent large sums of money for safekeeping in Louisaland. And then the /b/ alliance imploded and the globe stopped revolving.
What actually happened during those dark days is lost to the mists of legend, but as the new sun dawned, Louisaland bravely invested the money received into replacement infrastructure and managed to rebuild half the shattered nation (as well as recovering all the money entrusted to her, which was returned to the NpO comrade). At the earliest opportunity, Louisa ordered her engineers to tear down the Peace Mode wall and Louisaland once again emerged into the world to do battle with her NAAC enemies. Blood lust being strong among the troops, cherokee was overrun and, despite her comrades calls for caution and prudence, Traditoia as well. Finding these nations putting up a less-than-spirited defence, Louisa ordered her General Staff to find fresh targets. FunditionLand was selected and quickly assaulted, though the attack stalled somewhat when the battered defenders cried out that they were not part of NAAC, but a member state of the forocoches alliance using a clever ruse to disguise itself. Setting the political implications aside for the moment, Louisa diverted her burkaninja strike parties to cross the borders of Rhineland Republic, a genuine NAAC member.
The following day, as FunditionLand surrendered, a new front was opened against Aener, who was likewise found to be a skulking forocoches member. Language problems stalled his surrender for two days, but with the troops finally freed from that morass of bewilderment, it was time to strike at a fresh NAAC target, Cumberland Farms. Midway through that war, the NAAC disbanded rather than surrender, and the Hunting Season began: the killing-off of the remnants. Louisaland's victims in this disgraceful period of its history was Hallowvale, Lohi World, and Nummenaria.
Despite the successes, post-war mood in Louisaland was poor and getting worse by the week. Withdrawing from active participation in the circle of NpO member states, there was even talk of the nation splitting up into smaller parts, with Louisa herself retiring into obscurity. Then a chance contact with the GOONS rekindled Louisalander pride in the Black Sphere and raised the hope of not having to relocate to the chilblains of the arctic Blue. A swift note here, a quick resignation there, and Louisaland found itself finally at home with the GOONS, a mere two days before the FAN-WUT War started. Happy to finally be a member of the long-admired alliance, Louisa joyously threw her burkaninja brigades against Durka-Durka-stan and Ammo Nation.
The excellence of the Goon teachers had doubled Louisaland's strength and influence within days of joining, and the continued help saw the country double its influence in the days following its partial withdrawal from the war. (Free war slots? Where?) As the days stretched into weeks, Louisa settled down to revel in her newfound goondom, which included an alliance-wide relocation to the beautiful Niger region. Then a technological breakdown forced her to hand over the reigns of Louisaland to Lamuella, the much-admired ruler of Amead, for nearly two months.
Much happened during that time, nearly all of it bad, but the oblivious Louisa spent it frolicking in the mountainous forests of her ancestral island home. Upon finally returning to her beloved Louisaland, she found the world turned upside-down and her country involved in the Unjust War, bitterly battling with member states of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (Igtopia and Pameshlu), the Independent Republic of Orange Nations (Kavamoo), the Northern Treaty Organization (Folkmania), and the Finnish Cooperation Organization (Enricoville). The fighting was hard and confused, made all the more bewildering because Louisa was drowning in contradictory information about why she was now battling former friends.
The second phase of the war saw Louisaland greatly weakened, and ever more enemy nations saw their chance at striking. Govi Desert of NTO attacked, then CapeCodders and Gonzolia of IRON. As the war entered its second month, fresh armies streamed across the borders, led by GlicoState of the Grand Global Alliance. To the surprise of all involved, the final blow was struck by latecomer Sanvermia, but though the ZI was scored by IRON that alliance then failed to prevent Louisaland's battered defenders from erecting a fresh Peace Mode wall.
The End Edit
Life went on as normal in Louisaland, and laughter echoed through the halls of Goondom. But time passed, friends and acquaintances slowly began fading away as the pressure of the GOONland Resistance Movement (such a catchy name; it's a shame that the full story will never be told) took its toll, and finally the order was given to stop fiddling with the brakes and just dismount the train at high speed. Just five days before Louisaland's one-year anniversary among GOONS, the mirror cracked and the old clock fell from the mantelpiece, shattering among the dying embers of the fireplace.
Still, somehow, a flicker of life was left in the emaciated nation, forcing it to keep going for a month or two longer. A relocation to the ancient home islands was made, but finally, at long last, it was time for the final curtain.
(Tack för översättningen, brorsan! :) )