IKEA-Hacksaw War
Date January 29, 2009 — February 2, 2009
Casus belli Hacksaw planning aid theft from IKEA
Result Hacksaw apologizes; NAP signed between IKEA and Hacksaw
Preceded by
Ankle-Biter War
Succeeded by
NPO-Jarheads War
I Know Everything Alliance
The Shrouded Nations of Hacksaw
Placeholder Flag
Nations: 19
Nation Strength: 185,786
Average NS: 9,778
Nukes: 40
Score: 0.85
10,440 land
37,712 infra.
4,931 tech
118,601 soldiers
912 tanks
352 aircraft
102 cruise missiles
76 navy ships
Nations: 13
Nation Strength: 14,429
Average NS: 1,110
Nukes: 0
Score: 0.20
963 land
2,902 infra.
566 tech
15,847 soldiers
1051 tanks
66 aircraft
21 cruise missiles
0 navy ships

The IKEA-Hacksaw War was a small scale conflict between the I Know Everything Alliance and The Shrouded Nations of Hacksaw from January 29, 2009 to February 2, 2009.

IKEA Declaration of WarEdit

Citizens of Bob,

It brings great sorrow to see the following behaviour on Bob, everytime someone cheats and steals a little piece of my heart dies...

Now IKEA has always been a kindly and decent alliance, granting honour to our friends, allies and the like. So of course, it was nothing unusual when, a couple of days ago, I to allowed an alliance to merge into us to benefit from our protection and financial resources.

Unfortunately these players attempted to take advantage of IKEA's offer of good will. They spat in our faces and took us as fools. Well now the flat-pack tables have turned, to stop the production of shoddy furniture, and simultaneously signalling our move into the international furniture market, IKEA declares war on the "The Shrouded Nations of Hacksaw" and all supporters currently hiding under our own banner.

Below is the intelligence gathered alerting us to these crimes, showing that they wished to take from us, leave and smirch the good name of our sacred Store house of Cabinets, Beds and those awesome hot-dogs.

A few short side notes...

Thank you to 19thSpecOps for supplying the intel, we appreciate your help and support and you are welcome within the realms of our great furniture store anytime, with a 20% discount on our entire range.

Also we love our Echelon <3

This certificate of awesome is signed by:

Juan, King and Captain Fantastic, faster than Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Wolverine, Hulk and the Flash combined
Matthew117, Queen and Deluxe Transvestite Warrior
Emperor Jason, Minister of Internal Affairs, God of Speed and Incontinence

ts;cr - One small Alliance attempted to rip-off another small Alliance and now they're going to war. Does Bob get any better than this? Awesome

What? It does...? :colbert:

Our CB in rough
01[04:32] <Juan[IKEA]> They were going to fold into us
�01[04:32] <Juan[IKEA]> We offered 6m per member
�01[04:32] <Juan[IKEA]> They sent half of their alliance into ours
�01[04:32] <Juan[IKEA]> To gather about 30 - 40 million in aid
�01[04:32] <Juan[IKEA]> From which they planned to run back with it
�01[04:32] <Juan[IKEA]> and share it amongst themselves

�01[04:32] <Juan[IKEA]> Leaving us 30 - 40 mil out of pocket


I would like to publically announce the following:

As the head of The Shrouded Nations of Hacksaw, it was my decision to merge into the I Know Everything Alliance - They would be able to provide us with protection from near-constant attacks, money and experience. It just gave us an excellent chance to finally make something of The Shrouded Nations of Hacksaw, they welcomed us and appeared to be an alliance that we could learn from and we abused that.

I'm sorry for hurting IKEA - Even if my intentions weren't fulfilled, it was wrong to spread lies about them and make more serious threats to them, and their friends, once they were aware of what was planned. It was still the wrong thing to do. I left half of my alliance under the old AA so we could return, we didn't realise it would be so significant and cause an issue, we knew what were doing but that hadn't come up.

It shouldn't come down to our alliance because it wasn't their decision, but it was mine and I am very, very sorry for everything that happened.

I am grateful now for the help, goodwill and honesty of IKEA, their generosity despite this incident has been great. They will cease stop all attacks, and they are looking past our betrayal by continuing to help us and make sure we are a safe, strong and stable group.

I also want to thank Echelon for providing us a protectorate and their support, too. There's nothing to say we deserve this, so we are indebted to them and look forward to building these relationships.

—Jesters Hacksaw

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