Cyber Nations Wiki

This is the External Version of the 28th Edition of the Mostly Harmless Alliance's newsletter, the Don't Panic. Also note that many of the Colors, functions, and Images typically found on a Don't Panic are absent in this article. The 28th Edition was published on December 18, 2009.

Don't Panic #28[]

Note: Generally Statistics and the image of the Don't Panic are located here


The major problem — one of the major problems, for there are several — one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarize: it is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.


MHAry ChristMHAs[]

By: Diablofan

It's that time of the year again, no not war season (although I think that season is lurking around as well), but the holiday season. A group of people over in MHA has been working for a week to help get the forum in ready for the holiday season. The Christmas forums are already up and are available to see by all. Stop on by and join us for the celebrations: MHA Chirstmas Foum. We have competitions, and spam, and if you don't see something you think should be there, make a topic for it. Come, join us in celebration for the holiday season over at MHA.

Triumvir Replacement[]

By: Pourquoi

Well this first half monthly edition comes to you without an election proper to cover, yet still a new Triumvir, because I stood down to take the post of Minister of Hitchhikers, which was vacated earlier this month by rblount27.

The reasons were simple. My heart has always been with the MoH, I'd been finding most of the things I was doing as a Trium could be equally well accomplished as a Minister and frankly I wasn't getting into the FA side and politics as much as I'd hoped I would - I get enough of that in rl. So the decision was one which was going to come sooner or later, and with rb's resignation the decision was essentially made for me. Leaving a Minsitry in limbo for 3 weeks - until the election - would have been unfair on the alliance, and I really did want that job. So, the Triumvirate were kind enough to accept my resignation and give me the nod.

The Minsitry proceeded to appoint a replacement - with pudge eventually being declared the winner of the Ministerial / Triumvirate election. A confirmation vote amongst the whole alliance confirmed his appointment shortly thereafter and so it is with great pleasure I can announce and congratulate pudge1975 as our new Acting Triumvir, who will serve out the rest of my term and, no doubt, contest the next election.

Ministry Changes[]

By: Pourquoi

In all the changes lets first say a big cheers to rblount who kept the MoH going so well for so long and wish him well in rl as well as with his new job within the MoH. Since rb stepped down, I follwed suit to take the MoH job - woo! And thus pudge was promoted to the Triumvirate - congrats. With pudge's promotion, Espressoville was named as his successor at the MoDF - more congrats. The Deputy MoH position, meanwhile, became unexpectedly vacant when Niu fooled/annoyed/confused us all by resigning and then rejoinging the alliance in a record time.

Although changes are certainly possible in the coming days, this is what the Government of the MHA currently looks like:

Triumvirate: Pudge1975, Jadoo1989, Draden Valerianovich

  • Minister of Hitchhikers (Members): Pourquoi
    • Deputy: VACANT
  • Minister of Towels (Economy): Nath1194
    • Deputy: TheUltimate747 (aka Khrushchev)
  • Minister of BabelFish (Diplomacy): KingCJC
    • Deputy: yankeefan2
  • Minister of Bad Poetry (Communications): Majorddf
    • Deputy: Tyler Mattinglyb
  • Minister of Destructor Fleets (War): Espressoville
    • Deputy: VACANT
  • Speaker of the HHA: WCR
  • Legislator of the HHA: Dynasty

Around the CN World[]

The Don’t Panic on the Wiki[]

By: Dynasty

Recently a lot of efforts have been made by Hitchhikers and Cyber Nation Wiki Admins a like to bring the Don’t Panic to the Cyber Nations Wiki. The series of articles includes a background on the Don’t Panic and its staff, and even some whole editions put onto the wiki. There are also links to many of the Don’t Panics that have been posted on the OWF. While the don’t panic is expanding its publications and influence, it’s also expanding the knowledge about it, as such, please visit the main Don’t Panic Page on the wiki here: Don't Panic

Just for Fun[]

Movie Review[]

By: Diablofan

For this review, I decided to go with a Christmas movie because of the season. Well, since I didn't have enough time to decide, I went with with a classic. I decided to watch The Santa Clause, it's also been a while since I saw this movie in full. Well, it was a real treat watching this movie again. I forgot how funny most of it was. I won't talk too long about it since most everyone reading this has seen it before. If you haven't seen this movie yet, in my opinion, you need to buy it then watch it. Its a classic. I highly recommend it to all.

Christmas Cocktails[]

By: Pourquoi

Well, it wouldn't be a modern DP without Pourquoi talking about alcohol. On the MHA forums in our Christmas Celebrations section Pourquoi has set up a Christmas Cocktails Competition. The winner will receive 6mil and the runner up 3mil. Pourquoi will select a shortlist of the best looking ones and test them personally. He'll then report back with his 'findings' and, assuming he can still type, announce the winners.

The competition has so far garnered a few excellant looking recipes which I'd like to share with you:

Submitted by Gunther:

     1 1/2 oz. Blended Whiskey
     3/4 oz. Southern Comfort
     1 tsp. Banana Liqueur
     1 tsp. Lemon Juice
     Dash of Orange Bitters
     - Combine ingredients over ice. Shake well and pour over ice cubes in a rocks tumbler.

Submitted by Scytale:

     - Absolut vodka
     - Triple Sec (Hiram Walker?)
     - Rose’s Lime Juice
     - Crushed ice
     First add crushed ice into drink shaker.
     Add one part Absolut, one part Triple Sec (Hiram Walker?) and one part Rose’s Lime Juice (Maybe closer to 0.99 part). 
     Shake well. Strain into drink glass or shot glass.

Submitted by Antony:

     Antony's Family Eggnog Recipe
     6 eggs
     1 cup + 1 tablespoon sugar
     1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
     1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
     3/4 cup brandy
     1/3 cup dark rum (Captain Morgan for best flavor, but Myers is OK)
     2 cups whipping cream
     2 cups milk
     All liquids should be very cold. Refrigerate in advance.
     Beat the eggs for 2 or 3 minutes with an electric mixer at medium speed until very frothy.
     Gradually beat in the sugar, vanilla and nutmeg. 
     Turn the mixer off and stir in the cold brandy, rum, whipping cream and milk Chill before serving. 
     Sprinkle individual servings with more nutmeg.

If you think you can do better than any of the above, or just want to help give Pourquoi a very 'merry' Christmas then just head on over and submit your suggestion: Christmas Cocktail Contest @ MHA

Hoax: Sir Spamalot[]

By: Dynasty

Recently a fellow by the name of Sir Spamalot joined the Mostly Harmless Alliance. Now this man wasn’t at all like his name implied. He posted only in more serious government topics, and even boycotted and protested the Spam Threads! Some of the spammers on the forums were getting worried that someone they hoped would be their mascot would end up shutting down their prized forums. So the Spammers went off and spammed his inbox, trying to get him to come to the spam forums, he then blocked them all out! So the spammers went off and spammed him on IRC, and yet again, he blocked them! The Spammers then went off and spammed his In Game In box, but soon ran out of messages. Finally, a person ten times more serious chewed him right out of a serious forum. Sir Spamalot was so broken that he made a thread to against the serious poster, and it was soon moved to the spam section. Sir Spamalot then traveled there, and saw that the forums were full of fun and good people, so he quickly started to help count to one million. Before long, Sir Spamalot spammed more than almost anyone else, and he became the mascot of the spam section. The spammers rejoiced and had a very merry Christmas! And so is the tale of Sir Spamalot, the End!

Vogon Poetry[]

By: Dynasty

Pine Trees slobber on Bulbs and Poinsettias to ensure that red streamers took over snow men eating ham. Presents fell from the sky and hit large reindeer farm owners causing them to milk cookies for carrots. Chestnuts exploded over stockings near the North Pole to bring a ho ho ho! Opossums drank eggnog in organized fashions, which caused a designation of icy flashing lights. The star grabbed a candy cane blizzard’s snow cone, causing the rupturing of countless turkey smithereens. Santa Claus ordered tiny trucks to randomize indifferent pulverizing machines against blue and green elves to prevent thunder from cooking too many popsicles. Polar Bears drank coke to stop the bulldozer’s gliding motion toward an orange ice cream factory that made Santa hats for little mice and coconuts. Then it was time, and the alliance shouted “MHArry ChristMHAs!”


Editors Notes[]

By: Pourquoi

My first Don't Panic as Editor, and I certainly enjoyed it. I hope you did too. The DP will hopefully be moving to a 2/month basis from now, so our news should be fresher and our editions not quite such a marathon to get through. :) In closing I'd like to thank the whole DP staff who helped make this edition possible and who will hopefully make the 2/month editions possible. Also I'd like to wish pudge the well in his spell as Trium. My experience in the role certainly taught me a heck of a lot of things I wouldn't have expected. I'm sure his experience will be just as fruitful, and hopefully longer. :)


Staff Listing[]

  • Pourquoi, Editor-in-Chief, Borderline Alcoholic, Guy who gets to write these things now
  • Dynasty, Sub Editor, Columnist, Vogon Poet, Guy who has to read these things now
  • Scytale, Sub Editor, Columnist, Alcohol Contibutor, Guy who's been reading these for a while now
  • Diablofan, Reviewer, Statistician, Programmer, Guy who could programme a piece of software to write these things for me

Special Thanks To:

  • majorddf: As resident MoBP you get an automatic mention :P
  • WCR: Because poems don't write themselves
  • Gunther + Antony: Because drinks don't make themselves