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This is the External Version of the 25th Edition of the Mostly Harmless Alliance's newsletter, the Don't Panic (Newsletter). Also note that many of the Colors, functions, and Images typically found on a Don't Panic are absent in this article. The 25th Edition was published on October 8, 2009.

Don't Panic (Edition 25)[]

Note: Generally Statistics and the image of the Don't Panic are located here


We have been through all sorts of things this month, from new charters, and intense elections, to new programs, and the teeth clenching sanction race. From having treaties canceled, to gaining communications with old and current allies; from Ministry changes to Assembly changes, from Controversy to Spam. We are about to try and summarize it all into a newsletter for you MHA, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the Show!.....Okay, so there isn’t going to be a show, since someone from the entertainment department stepped all over the film, but you can still sit back and relax!


Sparta/MHA race neck and neck[]

By: Scytale

Welcome everyone to a special MHA report from the Amazing Sanction Race, brought to you by Megadodo Publications where our guide to the galaxy is better than the Encyclopedia Galactica. It’s slightly cheaper and it has the words “Don’t Panic” inscribed in large, friendly letters on the cover.

We are in the middle of some heart pounding events in the Amazing Sanctions Race between Sparta and the MHA. The MHA has been trailing Sparta pretty consistently for a long while. Recently, Sparta took a dive and the MHA raced ahead to take second place. Like a race car on nitro, it didn’t take long for Sparta to race back and take number 2 again. Of course, that just riled up the MHA to do better and march back to the number 2 position. The two alliances have been racing neck and neck like two race horses switching positions every second on the final stretch. Where will this end? I’m personally rooting for the MHA to decisively take the lead over Sparta but I may be a little biased here.

Anyway, good luck to both alliances (Go MHA!) and may the best alliance (MHA) win!

The Second Harmless Revolution[]

By: Dynasty

We here at MHA are celebrating our second harmless revolution with the passing of our new charter and supporting documents! MHAIL! These new documents were so well liked that they got around a 90% "For" vote from the membership when they were being voted on, as well as a 3/3 vote of approval from the Triumvirate! The new charter has thus created three distinct branches of the MHA government (Legislative, Executive, and Judicial), with the court being the Judicial, the Triumvirate and Ministries being the executive and the Assembly being the Legislative. The new addition out of those is of course the Assembly, the Assembly marks MHA’s turn from being a representative democracy to being a direct democracy, but don’t panic! We are still keeping the Triumvirate, Ministries, and current government structure we merely added in the Assembly, changed a few things around, and better organized our charter documents. We are hoping this new system will prove to be very effective in creating and putting in place new ideas from the greater membership and that it will create a new sense of activity since each member now wields even more power within our alliance! As such we here at the Don’t Panic would like to give a huge shout out to WCR and everyone else that helped in writing, reviewing, and making the charter as well as helping to get it passed.


Triumvir Elections[]

By: Dynasty

We had another three-man race for Triumvir this round, after all the hard made campaigns, threads and signs were made and underway the election started, everyone immediately began clenching their teeth wondering who will lead MHA forward, in fact, the winner ended up being the acting Triumvir Pourquoi! As such, we here at the Don’t Panic want to wish him the best in leading MHA forward!

Speaker and Legislator Elections[]

By: Pourquoi

For the first time ever the MHA has played host to the elections of two new positions; Speaker of the Hitchhikers Assembly (hereafter called the HHA cos I'm lazy) and the Legislator of the HHA. These two positions are designed to facilitate the functioning of the brand new HHA - which is discussed above. So, onto the juicy election bit.

The Speaker position was originally contested by Niu Garzukk and Farmer John. Both candidates put up strong campaigns and in the end it would have made for an interesting contest, however Niu decided to pull out of the race when he realized holding the position would clash with his existing duties. This left Farmer John with a clear path, and only requiring to carry a majority in a vote of confidence, which he did with 62% of the vote.

The Legislator position was also hotly contested early on, with Dynasty, joint author of the revolution, met by jerdge in the race for the second HHA representative role. This race did go to the wire with very little to separate the two candidates. In the end the result was one of the tightest in MHA history, as Dynasty triumphed by 3 votes, with 51% of the vote to jerdge's 43%.

So this means we have to congratulate both Farmer John and Dynasty as our first HHA representatives. Do us proud guys and congratulations.

Ministry Changes[]

By: Pourquoi

Thanks to the electorate of the MHA, I remain a Trium, leaving the only change to the Ministry being a change of MoH after Denisov chose to stand down for personal reasons. We wish him the best and welcome rblount27 to the Ministry. As well we wish to congratulate Niu Garzukk for being appointed Deputy of MoH.

So, that leaves the MHA government looking like this:

Triumvirate: ScutterBug, Crushtania, Pourquoi

  • Minister of Hitchhikers: rblount27
    • Deputy: Niu Garzukk
  • Minister of Towels: Draden Valerianovich
    • Deputy: Iamrecognized
  • Minister of BabelFish: KingCJC
    • Deputy: yankeefan2
  • Minister of Bad Poetry: Jadoo1989
    • Deputy: Scytale
  • Minister of Destructor Fleets: pudge1975
    • Deputy: Espressoville
  • Speaker of the HHA: Farmer John
  • Legislator of the HHA: Dynasty

Just for Fun[]

The Hoax[]

By: Scytale

MHA Spy Corps

The MHA would like to announce the formation of a spy corp. After finding that just about every other alliance has spies, we decided that we will join the spy arms race. Of course, our spies will have to follow our behavior codes to keep the spirit of the MHA while spying. Here are some of the rules our spies must obey: - When signing in to another alliance as a spy, you must clearly state that in their application - While spying, you must spread hoopiness in that alliance. Spamming is a must. - If there are anything that is worth spying back to the MHA, you must clearly give 24 hour notice to the said alliance what you are brining to us and for what purpose. - If you are caught spying, we will disavow you and will not support you in anyway… for two hours.

How we will handle double agents

Double agents are required to submit a special application in our Gate of Entry, stating the following • Nation • Ruler name • Link • Which alliance you are really spying for • The duration of spying • The type of information you are looking for • If you’d like to train our spys in training • What government position you would like

Failure to abide by these rules will land you into filling out paperwork for the Vogons.

Vogon Poetry[]

By: Dynasty

Formatorial Optimal Industrialization Tulbanzinal Railroads excuse joint yahoos eating spaghetti. Julian Rain bow frenzy Jeeps lick gummy pears to spicy tiger umbrella camel castle frogs. Olive emeritus jumping tambourines undergoing hot cold worms. Fiery jam eats dissolving silver masking ten fixing pirate coats. Orange clowns demoralize ground hogs and their squirrels. Puma flour sheep tank grape jelled bags in hopes of coding new picture frames. Joules ignite imaginary xylophones competing immediately indicating induscriptibitile inscribable omitted copper fools fridge cup drawers. Passive pickles populate penny picking polar pans. Alliterations cause freezing llamas yamanizing oval trickles. Ocean games simmer half emailatious emus into agitating glue prospering making illiomas make tunes that ruin ballets. So says the elderly pickle juicing pop corn making kappa.


By: Dynasty

As some of you might know this will be the last Edition of the Don’t Panic in which I am Editor in Chief, from now on TheStig will be taking over, as such I’d like to wish him well. Ever since the Don’t Panic’s formation became a community event where everyone has contributed as opposed to a news letter published by the Minister of Communications, I have been there giving my poetry, and giving my efforts to make it an even better edition then the last. I was then offered the Job of Editor in Chief, which I decided to try, it proved to be a very fun, yet challenging job, a job where you could be creative and have fun, yet work hard and be in service to the alliance. While I will continue to help out with the don’t panic as I almost always have, it will surely be different not being in charge of its publication and behind the scenes things. My short time as Editor in Chief has been really fun, mostly because of the great people in the Don’t Panic crew that have always helped me and always given their all, and for that I thank all of you for your services to the Don’t Panic. I honestly could of never of asked for better staff nor made a single edition without all of you. MHAil!

Staff Listing:[]

Dynasty, Editor in Chief and Columnist, The guy who lost his stapler and Owner of the Stationary Cabinet

Pourquoi, Columnist and Sub-Editor, The guy who wears a red mask and Manager of the Stationary Cabinet

Scytale, Columnist and Sub-Editor, The guy who was the last editor in Chief and Builder of the Stationary Cabinet

Shamshir, Columnist and Special Assistant, The guy who always has cool ideas and Engineer of the Stationary Cabinet

Rblount27, Interviewer, The guy with Min in his title and Special Assistant to the Manager of the Stationary Cabinet

Special Thanks to: Scutterbug, Toffe, Jadoo1989, and Diablofan