|Disastrous Father Accords 2.0|
Article I: SovereigntyEdit
I'm not here to tell you guys you need to be the same person. Like, literally the same person. That would be an asinine suggestion.
Article II: DefenseEdit
Remember when that creepy registered sex offender was following NG home from the playground and catching up with him behind Jim Dellar's shed? I can't believe that went on for months without you saying a peep, NSO. Don't laugh, it's not that funny. I'm just suggesting that in situations like this, the other brother should (and I'm just suggesting) perhaps do something to help. I wouldn't want to say you have to, but you two should talk it over. When you get the chance.
Article II AmendmentEdit
On December 16, 2012; It was announced "Under Article II: Defense, there is some stuff about how helping is just a suggestion. Well, no. We're going to DEFINITELY help defeat sex offenders together from now on. Unless it's someone else's sex offense that we're talking about. They might have just been asking for it."
Article III: AggressionEdit
Oh, and that time that one of the fifth-graders called NSO a puke brains, so NSO slaughtered his dog, initiating a bloody feud that garnered national headlines and had your elementary school declared a national disaster area? Maybe when something like that happens, you can both initiate violence together. Like brothers. I'm just suggesting it. I wouldn't want to encourage my sons to engage in violence, but I would at least hope they would consider it.
Article IV: FriendlinessEdit
NG, do you remember that time you convinced NSO that the paper shredder was used for haircuts? I really can't have any of that from either of you guys. Go hurt and maim whoever you'd like (again, just suggesting it), but when it comes to each other, you need to be good. No spying on one another when the other kid is making time with little Suzie from next door, and definitely no calling anybody "poop eyes." We are still paying the settlement from that fire.
Article V: WithdrawalEdit
You two may want to someday not be brothers anymore. Frankly, as your father, I understand. But since you have grown up together and known each other your entire eight years on earth, I want you guys to at least give each other 72 hours notice. There is no debating this point.