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| Coffee | |||
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| Motto "We Never Sleep" | |||
| Capital City | Samover | ||
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| Established | 11/29/2009 (5,654 days old) | ||
| Government Type |  Revolutionary
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| Ruler |  Stilcho | ||
| Alliance |  Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism      
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| Nation Team |  Black
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| Statistics as of 09/09/2010 | |||
| Total population | 30,353 | ||
| 20,534 civilians | |||
| 9,819 soldiers | |||
| Population Density | 26.30 | ||
| Literacy Rate | 21.07% | ||
| Religion |  Taoism
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| Total casualties | 30,041 | ||
| 18,968 attacking | |||
| 11,073 defending | |||
| Casualty Rank | 11,073 of 5,242 (211.24%) | ||
| Currency |  Dong
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| Nation Strength | 10,749.797 | ||
| Efficiency | 37.85 | ||
| Total Area | 1,154.173 
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| Native Resources |  
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Coffee is a growing, developing, and somewhat silly nation with citizens of questionable ethnicity whose religion is Taoism... this week.
It is a cautious nation that harbors an irrational fear of technology and suspicious Dust Bunnies; also dogs, balloon animals, open closets and words that end in "z".
Coffee's citizens pay extremely high taxes and many despise their government as a result. The rulers of Coffee respond to questions relating to finance with a 37 page questionnaire so that they may properly understand the individual concern.
The citizens of Coffee work diligently to produce Water and Rubber and are always eager to trade these for green shoes. Eugene Goodapple of the Cappuccino Goodapples is credited with the creation of the first water factory.
It is not a nation for panty-waists and some say it has an itch for war; This is eczema. Coffee believes nuclear weapons are necessary for the security of its people and in keeping with the general mood of Coffee "More is Better".
Plans are on the way within Coffee to open new rehabilitation centers across the nation and educate its citizens of the dangers of mixing LSD and Belladonna.
Coffee allows its citizens to protest their government but uses a strong police force to monitor...things and tranquilize lawbreakers when expedient. In Coffee politics holds the same position as that of the theater or an orchestra. It is entertainment and is government sponsored and controlled.
Coffee has an open border policy, but in order for immigrants to remain in the country they will have to become citizens first. Coffee believes in the freedom of speech and feels that it is every citizen's right to speak freely about their government and the physical peculiarities of their neighbors.
The government gives foreign aid when it can, but it prefers to keep a firm grasp on its Dongs. The government of Coffee will trade with any country whose citizens wear pants, regardless of ethical or logical consequences.