Cyber Nations Wiki

The Battle of Portland was an extremely brutal battle for control of the major Oregonian City of Portland. After Senhart and his cohorts were released from prison after the failure of the Guinness Putsch, Senhart and his comrades began establishing a tiny nation in the woods along the banks of Lake Chelan and started expanding the nation's borders across the Pacific Northwest. But when the People's Army of Cascadia reached southern Pierce County, they start encountering heavy resistance from a ragtag army from the tiny town of Eatonville. The long struggle, in which the PAC was defeated after a seven month conflict became known as the "Battle for Eatonville", and caused the PAC to around the town, by way of I-5, to get to the City of Portland, paving the way for the Battle for Portland.

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CFS Forces engaged in urban operations during the Battle of Portland

Recently released documents from the CFS historical archives show that the Battle of Portland was totally unanticipated. Historians and physicists alike are currently debating the reasons why the Autocranialrectalreversalfacilitatomometer did not work on this segment of the population. The theory which currently holds the most credence is that due to the already large number of socialists in the greater Portland area, the brain-washing device had the opposite effect than in other areas. Rather than removing craniums from rectums, it actually inserted them. As a result, many residents of the area became snake-handling lunatics. The cries of, "All hail Beck, Limbaugh, Hannity, and O'Rielly!" still haunt the survivors of that battle. Neighborhood by neighborhood, and street by street, the People's Army of Cascadia was forced to root out and kill those who they had hoped would be their allies. In his seminal work, Mein Hangover, Senhart describes a scene from the battle: "As we crossed the Burnside Bridge, the fanaticism of our enemy was apparent for all to see. They were wrapped up in American flags, some of them carrying their own children. They rushed headlong into our ranks, screaming like banshees, throwing molotov was pandemonium. As we saw it, they were dead already." In total, over 35,000 Portlander's died in the battle, which raged for two weeks. On February 9, 2009, Senhart negotiated a settlement with the remaining Portland militias, allowing them free passage to the east, and out of what was to become the Cascadian Free State.