Scottish SSR

The Scottish Soviet Socialist Republic (Lowland Scots: Sco'ish Soeveeyet Soeshalust Rehpublick), also known as the Scottish SSR for short, is one of the nations which make up We Are Perth Army. It came into being when the Scottish Socialist Labour Party proclaimed control of Lowland Scotland on January 28th, 2009.

Under socialist rule, the Scottish SSR has seen the transformation of Central Scotland from a largely unemployed or call-centre based economy to an important industrial production centre.

The Revolution
The Scottish SSR was formed as a seperatist democratic-socialist republic on January 28th, 2009.

On January 26th, 2009, a trade union strike in protest over the closing of a steelworks in the town of Motherwell, North Lanarkshire, boiled over into a full-blooded riot as a result of the police being dispatched to beat the living daylights of the trade unionists. However, the steelworkers, under the crafty leadership of ———— Allan (his first name has never been revealed in order to dodge tax), were well-organised and supported by radical elements of the local Labour Party, various smaller Scottish left-wing political parties and the Socialist Workers Party. The police were beaten back, and the steelworkers quickly seized hold of the town, garnering support from the embittered, mostly unemployed and a little bit sozzled populace.

The UK Labour Party, instead of supporting the strikes, expelled these radicals, who formed their own grouping, the Scottish Socialist Labour Party. However, the Labour Party MP for Motherwell and Wishaw, a former steelworker and NuLab hack, urged the rebels to back down, saying they were a "disgrace to the Labour Party." After saying this, he was pelted with eggs and ropey curry and hurriedly climbed into his private helicopter and flew away, never to return. The riots spread throughout North Lanarkshire, with various workers' councils set up in lieu of local government. The British Government declared a state of martial law in North Lanarkshire on January 27th, with Her Maj's Army dispatched to control the rebellious population.

However, upon entering Motherwell, they were quickly turned back by a gang of rather hostile Non-Educated Delinquents armed with samurai swords and knives at Airbles Railway station, who promised to "set aboot ye" and "ah'll chib ye, ya wee Sassenach pr**ks!"

The Royal Regiment of Scotland, who had not been dispatched to the scene for fear that they might sympathise with the rebel cause, revolted en masse, bringing food, ammunition and weaponry to the revolutionaries in North Lanarkshire.

The revolution spread to different areas of Scotland, with similar uprisings in North Renfrewshire, North and East Glasgow, and in the West End of Glasgow, where the copious numbers of bourgeois-leftist students of Glasgow University - who, led by a genuine Marxist, Professor Mike Gonzalez - got quite excited about the idea of a real revolution and decided to join in.

[[Image:Lenin1.jpg | thumb | 400px | right |

President Allan announces the creation of the new socialist republic ]] On January 28th, 2009, ——— Allan proclaimed himself President of the newly formed Scottish Socialist Soviet Republic to a vast crowd on the grassy slopes of Kelvingrove Park, Glasgow. The new republic's borders stretched from Paisley in the West to Motherwell in the East, at its heart the important cultural centre and industrial port of Glasgow, which gave the new nation a vital lifeline with the outside world.

The First Minister of Scotland congratulated President Allan and the revolutionaries for their acheivements, stating it to be a "most marvellous result, a great day for Scots worldwide, to see for the first time in over 300 years a truly independent Scottish nation." The leading nationalist party of Scotland at this time (who shall not be named in this article for fear of legal action), whilst at odds with the SSLP's economic policies, wholeheartedly endorsed the new nation's claims to sovereignty.

The local workers councils were merged to create a new democratic Scottish government, with elections to be announced once the state had secured its own borders from the threat of a vengeful Westminster government. Conveniently, the MP's Expenses Scandal of April/May 2009 diverted attention away from the Central Scotland crisis.

Scottish SSR Foreign Policy
Pragmatic; sometimes intelligent, sometimes overtly aggressive, the Scottish SSR has always pursued a tough foreign policy.

The Scottish SSR joins We Are Perth Army
Realising that in this hostile world one would need allies, the Scottish SSR looked around to join an alliance in order to provide greater protection for its citizens. Whilst President Allan contemplated joining The International due to the republic's leftist leanings, it was finally decided on February 5th 2009 to join We Are Perth Army, due to that alliance's generous recruitment package and its predominantly Scottish membership.

The Scottish SSR's involvement in the Karma War
As with other WAPA nations, the Scottish SSR plunged itself into the great Karma War of 2009, fighting against The Foreign Division. At 2017hrs on 26th April, the Scottish SSR began its deployment of troops to the Scandinavica border, launching some destructive raids upon that nation. The following day, the Scottish SSR conducted a full-scale attack upon Scandinavica, with its Blitzkreig-style offensive (or "bitchkreig", as President Allan referred to it) producing devastating results.

The Foreign Division surrendered soon afterwards. WAPA had scored a tremendous victory, as TFD were the first alliance to surrender.

Politics of the Scottish SSR
The Scottish SSR is, unlike most other Soviet Socialist Republics, a democracy, operating roughly along the lines of a mish-mash of council communism, Trotskyism and democratic socialism. The prevailing ideology is that of Benn-Macleanism, which is a hybrid of the socialist ideas of Tony Benn, a former UK Labour Party politician; and John Maclean, a Scottish revolutionary socialist, who was a strong proponent of council communism and of the idea of an independent, communist Scotland.

Local councils operate along left-communism lines; overall control of the republic lies with the Supreme Soviet, which is the Scottish government. Elections for this are held every 3 months, and delegates are elected from their contituencies by a first-past-the-post system.

Whilst the government is primarily socialist in its leanings, there are many political parties in the Scottish SSR.

Scottish Socialist Labour Party
By far the largest party in the Scottish SSR, it was formed by a grouping of left-wing Labour supporters. It identifies itself as being similar to the "Old" UK Labour Party, i.e. the Labour party prior to the invention of "New Labour." President Allan is party leader.

It won 68% of the seats at the May 2009 General Election.

Scottish Nationalist Alliance
Whilst this party supports Scottish independence, it looks to unification with Greater Scotland, which is still not fully independent from Westminster.

The party has centrist economic policies, and has support from across the social spectrum.

At the May 2009 General Election, it won 29% of the seats.

Scottish Liberal Party
A business-friendly party advocating unregulated free market economics and Union with the UK, it has performed poorly at parliamentary level, winning only 2% of the seats in the May 2009 Elections.

President Allan becomes WAPA Minister of Foreign Affairs
On May 11th, 2009, the citizens of the Scottish SSR were delighted to find that their noble leader, President Allan, had been elected WAPA Minister of Foreign Affairs. With this appointment, the Scottish SSR has found itself catapulted onto the world stage.