New Farkistan Order

Fark is a large alliance on the Aqua sphere.

The Beginning
Farkistan was founded on January 2 of 2007 by an intrepid group of individuals hailing from Fark.com. They opened an embassy to welcome all, and to announce their presence.

The culture of Farkistan is heavily influenced by Fark.com, borrowing many of that site's memes and cliches. While reading Fark.com is not a requirement for membership, many find a familiarity with it can help to assimilate into the culture.

The Great Greenlight
On February 13, 2007, Farkistan was able to get a "greenlight" post (a posting that appears on the main page of Fark.com to all visitors). This post served as a recruiting message, and soon Farkistan had more than 900 new members (although many of them never became active). To this day, current members who joined as a result of this recruitment drive are referred to as "Greenlighters"

War Triggered
The Holy War of Farkistan began soon after its founding when the GOONS alliance began a full-scale assault upon Farkistani nations. The infant alliance struggled to stay alive. On the 8th of January, LUE came to the aid of Farkistan, but was only able to provide moral support. Monetary and military support would be nearly unavailable to Fark nations for the duration of the war due to GOONS blockades and their policy of attacking any nation giving aid to the beleaguered alliance. The conflict was seen by many as the trigger for GWII. After GWII, Farkistan was never granted peace, and the conflict continued into and through GWIII.

Fark Gets Peace
Delayed by the Dizzay Doctrine, Farkistan finally found peace on June 11, 2007. As part of these terms, which included a cease fire from all signature nations of The World Unity Treaty, Fark agreed to accept Daemon Vower of the GOONS as a Viceroy with the power to veto government actions found to be in opposition to GOON interests. Farkistan was released from the terms of the peace deal on September 10, 2007.

Greenlight 2.0
Originally planned for the one year anniversary of The Great Greenlight, Greenlight 2.0 was delayed nearly a week because CN registrations were turned off due to the Woodstock Massacre. On February 19, 2008, Farkistan was able to get another "greenlight" post on Fark.com. While not as successful as the prior year, Farkistan was still able to gain over 200 new members.

Sanctioning
On March 30, 2008, Farkistan became one of the twelve sanctioned alliances in the game, coming with the tenth ranked score of the alliances meeting the sanction requirements.

Greenlight 3.0
With only three days notice in April '09, Farkistan was able to pull off another Greenlight thanks to our own Fluoroalien who is one of the most prolific posters of greenlights on Fark.Com. This Greenlight coincided with a growth challenge between Fark and Viridian Entente :P

The beginning of the Glorious New Farkistan Order
In a bloodless coup Cable77, the former Submitter of Farkistan, disolved the Total Fark Council and declared himself dictator for life as the Lord Drunken Prsident. The New Fark Order shall reign for a thousand years (or until Bob explodes in an orgy of destruction) of peace and beer.

Government
The New Farkistan Order is now a Dictatorship lead by his Lord Drunken President and the Castalan.

* Wouldestous was appointed by emergency powers of the Totalfark Council and technically held the title of Emergency Submitter.

** Raving_MainyYak did not serve a full term, but completed the previous Submitter's term.

Preamble:
Farkistan is ruled by Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Our Holy Emperor, Drew Curtis (PBUH) through whom all things are possible, and from whom we derive the privilege of calling ourselves FARK

In our leader's absence, we do our best to govern ourselves according to his holy drunken example, as revealed to us in the magnificent realm of Fark.com.

Article 1: The Lord Drunken President Eternal
/ The LDP of Farkistan "submits" to no one. He is master of all of the New Farkistan Order's bidness and shall be revered as such.

// The LDP shall serve for life, or until Bob explodes as a result of the Sun turning into a red giant and swallowing all the inner planets of the Solar System or until the LDP decides to resign. Erections are for chumps and hopeful pharmaceutical reps.

/// The LDP shall have the power to: - Do whatever he pleases, whenever he pleases to do it.

//// The LDP shall be required to, at the beginning of the last full week of each month, post a list of Farkers who have displeased His Excellency and require them to serve penance as he deems necessary.

///// In the event that the LDP fails to report for duty for a period of 7 days, or resigns, the Castalan shall assume the role of LDP for the remainder of his natural life or until he resigns. The Castalan will also serve as temporary Lord Drunken President during an approved absence (jury duty, hangover, whatever the LDP says he's doing on his days off).

In the event that both the LDP and the Castalan are both too drunk to reach the keyboard for seven days, both empty seats shall be determined by 1x1 mortal combat between the two strongest nations in the alliance. Or they could play a best of three UNO tournament. Whatever.

Article 2: The Castalan
/ The Castalan isn't one of those unholy furries, he is the Lord Drunken President's second in command. He will carry out the will of the LDP in the management of the New Farkistan Order and her diplomatic efforts.

// The Castalan is chosen by the sitting LDP whenever the spot is vacant. If the sitting Castalan is deemed unworthy by the LDP, the Castalan may be cast down the ranks or sentenced to ZI -- depending on the LDP's mood and how well the Castalan curried his favor in the past.

/// In the event that the LDP has absolutely lost his Farking mind, the Castalan is free to coup the LDP by force if necessary, or he may also challenge the LDP's leadership by playing a "best of three games" of UNO tournament.

Article 3: The Walken
/ The Walken (his title was simply still too awesome to change) is in charge of enforcing discipline amongst the Farkers. Minor infractions shall be dealt with at the Walken's discretion, with punishments ranging from being mocked in a hilarious photoshop all the way to exile (subject to LDP or Castalan approval).

// The Walken is also the gate-keeper. He shall spend his days sorting through the millions of potential Fark applicants seeking for the keymaster. Yes, I realize that has Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis switching places. No, I do not care.

Anyone who successfully meets the Walken's standards may be admitted to the alliance.

/// The Walken serves at the pleasure of the LDP and may be replaced at the LDP's whim.

Article 4: Grand Admiral Neil Diamond (GAND):
/ The GAND is named for the biggest baddest singer in the universe, not some pantywaste octopus-manling. He rules over the military with an iron fist and is answerable to the LDP's slightest whim.

// The GAND serves at the pleasure of the LDP and may be replaced at the LDP's whim.

Article 5: Watch Your Back, Hippies
/ Any Farker caught spying, lying, crying, trying or vying against the LDP, the Castalan, the New Farkistan Order or anyone else is subject to immediate ZI.

// Any Farker forgetting to kneel before the LDP when he enters the public or private Farkistan channels by using the proper "ohali?" greeting shall be subject to a channel ban for the first offense. Additional offenses can and will be subject to punishment up to and including exile or ZI.

/// Any Farker forgetting to update their nation stats on sight, forgetting to fly the New Farkistan Order flag in their profiles, or provide a delicious souffle as commanded by the GAND is subject to punishment at the GAND's discretion.

//// Any Farker who finds it amusing to forget to post in the LDP's annual Birthday thread not only gets ZI'd, but banned from the IRC channels and banned from eating any delicious red velvet cake.

///// Farkers are required to register on the Farkistan forums to be considered members of Farkistan. Failure to do so means that you're on your own when war hits, no aid, no chocolate chip cookie dough.

////// Farkers are required to display "Fark" as their alliance affiliation and their forum member number in their nation profile at all times. Failure to do so, and to fail to comply with the Walken's (or his designated representative's) request to do so, may result in being expelled from the alliance.

/////// Any other rules the Farkers must follow will be issued as Edicts at the LDP's discretion.

Article 6: Forum Management
/None of your beeswax, that's how we roll. You got a problem, send us a memo.

Article 7: Man Up, Francis
/ Don't bellyache, get a belly ache. Lift some weights, walk it off. Don't waste our time crying and moaning, stand up and do what we tell you to do! Your momma ain't here and this is the grown ups' table.

Deal with it.

Article 8: Slashies
/ To change a slashie in this charter, the LDP just has to change it at his discretion.

Article 9: Miscellaneous Ass Covering
/ All foreign treaties and agreements entered into under any previous charter shall remain enforceable against the Farkistani government under this charter.