President Obama at Mortville memorial service

thank you very much, governor wildman, mrs. kelly, members of the Mortville Community, distinguished guests, my fellow americans, days ago we've watched with horror as your great community came under attack from a hostile town ruled in the grip of a tyrant, Big Ben Healy. his history of subversion and rigging that town's elections is well known. this reminds the people of Mortville that they have a right to defend themselves. it was during the greatest soccer game on this planet: the 2010 FIFA World Cup Final. Big Ben never understood this that is why he crossed the line between stupid to a direct threat not only to Mortville but to the United States.