Charter of Europa

Europa Charter
Europa is established on the principles of brotherhood, equality, free expression, fun, and just generally having a good time. Also sex. Looooooottttsss of sex.

Section I: Council of Lesser Ayatollahs
Europa’s executive branch, known as the Baskin Robbins Council, comprises all the important parts of Europa’s leadership. The four members of the CLA are the Strawberry, Mint, Vanilla and Jalapeño ayatollahs. The former three hold executive voting and general membership veto powers; the latter does not (except in the case of a tiebreaker [which is stupid]). The CLAs are to be appointed each term by the Grand Ayatollah.

Strawberry Ayatollah: Typically the most seasoned of the Ayatollahs, this little fruit is essentially the Vice-Grand Ayatollah. They are expected to be well versed in all aspects of government and may take over for any missing Ayatollah should it be needed. No fuckos in this position, please.

Mint Ayatollah: The Mint Ayatollah, officially the Mintberry Crunch and General Douchebaggery Ayatollah, is responsible for all aspects of Foreign Affairs within Europa. They are tasked with keeping happy relations with our allies and keeping the membership up to date on all FA aspects. May appoint a deputy or two, whatever they’d like.

Vanilla Ayatollah: The Vanilla Ayatollah is tasked with all Internal Affairs of Europa. The VA is responsible for maintaining the membership list and assisting with trades and tech deals. The VA may appoint a deputy for this taxing task. The VA is also the direct boss of the Minister of Defense, aka the Jalapeño Ayatollah. The Vanilla Ayatollah is also tasked with ensuring all internal threats are dealt with in an appropriate fashion, including spies and traitors. This Ayatollah must be white.

Jalapeño Ayatollah: The Jalapeño Ayatollah is the Minister of Defense of Europa. Typically only active during a war (no shit?), the JA may also serve as the assistant Vanilla Ayatollah for the rest of the year when we aren’t fighting. This Ayatollah is also tasked with soothing our collective blueballs on a monthly basis. This Ayatollah is strongly recommended to be Hispanic.

Section II: Grand Ayatollah
The Grand Ayatollah, known as the Big Banana, is the final part of the Baskin Robbins Council. The GA is the only elected position in Europa and holds absolute power over all Europa aspects. The GA appoints the CLA and may also exercise certain executive powers, including (but not limited to) expulsion of members, declarations of emergency, and declaring a fag party.

Section III: Membership Duties (tee hee duty)
Membership in Europa is a sacred thing. In joining our noble alliance, you become the cream of the frat house, the best student in the special ed class. We do not take this title lightly, and neither should you (yes you, Wiki reader!). The membership of Europa makes up the third branch of Europa’s government. Also known as the Peanut Gallery, this group of nations is the number 1 importer of peanuts in Southern Somalia. Members are given the right to vote on certain items (such as treaties, allocations of school district funding, and the annual Naming of the Deebo), and as such are expected to represent Europa in a decent way. Tl;dr, don’t be a huge asshole. We cover that later, though Article IV.


 * Subsection A: Sheikh
 * Experienced (or former gov) members of Europa may be given the Sheikh mask. This legitimately does nothing.

Article II: Joining Requirements for Europa.

 * Nations applying for admission to Europa must be over the following nation milestones:
 * MUST be over 999.99 infrastructure
 * MUST be over 200 technology
 * MUST have a nation that is over 100 days old
 * MUST have been in at least one legitimate alliance in the past (over 10 members)
 * MUST suck it long, suck it hard, Trebeck

Once a new applicant meeting these requirements has submitted his/her application, all that is necessary is the official approval of the Grand Ayatollah. This veto power exists to keep the mix of members in Europa diverse, yet easily compatible with one another (i.e. no members who were bitter enemies in the past, from opposite spheres that enjoy strangling each other in their spare time etc.). An applicant who DOES NOT meet this requirements must have the 3/3 approval of the Council of Lesser Ayatollahs. The CLA is encouraged to get to know the applicant personally, see if they've had a nation in the past, or see if they can get a recommendation from a past alliance mate. This article goes out the window like a suicidal investment banker any time the Grand Ayatollah declares an open recruiting season.

Article III: Activity
Look, when you join Europa, we’d like you to be somewhat active. We understand this isn’t always possible, so we ask that you at least try to stay up to date with us on a weekly basis. On occasion, we will ask you to sign in on the forums. Failure to do so will result in being placed on the Yellow List. Not only does this mean you’re Asian, it means you have been warned and must produce an explanation as to why you didn’t reply in a timely fashion. Should you miss two sign-ins or fail to produce an excuse, you will be Red Listed. This means you are automatically a Communist. Communists will be subject to removal from Europa and forced to join The International. Not really. We’ll just ask you to leave the AA, and if you don’t, we’ll force you off. Sucks, huh? Yeah, just reply to the damned messages.

Article IV: Anti-Douchebag Clause
If, for any reason, you are deemed to be a douchebag, jackass, asshat, dildo or fuckhead by any member of the Ayatollah's council, be they lesser or grand, you will be expelled promptly and likely declared war upon. Is this democracy? No. Is this fair? No. Do we care? Fuck no. Don't like it? Too bad, go take a bath with a toaster, chode.

Article V: Treaties of Europa
Europa’s allies are the greatest allies in all of Cybernations. If you believe them to be awful or stupid, you’re clearly wrong, as this document is legal proof that you are an idiot. Sad day, bro.

Article VI: Declarations of War (aka Clusterfucks)
When our shit gets fucked up, our allies' shit gets fucked up, or when we want to fuck some shit up, a declaration of war vote is needed. This isn't the United States, we can't just declare a police action and lol our way into another country. A declaration of war vote requires approval of the council of lesser Ayatollahs and the Grand Ayatollah. It is known as a Banana Split Vote, for the Banana Split cannot be complete without all four of the flavors (herein Mint substitutes Chocolate) and the banana itself, the Grand Ayatollah. Trust me, I work at Denny's. Well, not anymore, but this clause was too awesome to not include in the charter again. If you need to verify this, please contact Darkfox, as his family owns a Denny’s, or Rubianqueen521, as she works at Dairy Queen.

Article VII: Open Recruiting Seasons
While Europa strives to be an elite alliance, occasional recruitment of new members is a must. This amendment grants power to the Vanilla Ayatollah and the Grand Ayatollah to, at any time, grant an open season for recruiting to last for a determined amount of time. These recruits shall be treated with respect as would be afforded any member. Haha, member. That's another word for penis.

Article VIII: Wartime Desertion/Asshattery

 * Yo yo, listen up, I got somethin' to tell you.
 * I'm your leader, head honcho, yo, I could never fail you.
 * When you join up Europa, man, you got your free will,
 * but sometimes free people make me need to pop pills.
 * You see when we is at war, nigga, times they is hard.
 * All us bitches in the battle, bro, some of us charred.
 * And while I understand that watching yourself die ain't that simple,
 * Nigga leaving us in wartime's like an ass with a pimple.
 * So here's the new rule, yo, you'd better adhere it.
 * It's meant to keep us safer, dawg, not so you fear it.
 * But if you're chicken shit, man, and you fuckin' leave us
 * We gonna hunt you down, fuck, you'd better believe us.
 * You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
 * about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
 * but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
 * That's kinda how this is, you could have saved your ass a poundin'.
 * But now it's too late - You're on our ZI list now, I'm drowsy.
 * I guess to summarize the aforementioned resolution
 * if you leave us in a conflict, don't come back for restitution.
 * 'cause Nig, when you leave us, dawg, you disrespect the man,
 * Nigga last time we saw that, bitch's name was Brick-an.
 * Too long, didn't read, shit nigga, don't be a coward
 * or we's gonna make your balls fuckin' nuclear powered.
 * Word.

Article IX: Amendments
If people think the current charter is a piece of shit and what to go all lawlocaust on it, amendment proceedings can be initiated by any Lesser Ayatollah or by the Grand Ayatollah. Member cannot introduce amendments directly because of the large amounts of amendments this could create, and the charter is meant to be a goddamn roadmap, not an effing blueprint.

Article X: Secret Clause
Fuck you. No really, fuck you.

Article XI: Vogue Vague Rouge Rogues
We understand that this charter leaves a lot of grey areas. We did this on purpose. Don’t be an asshole, follow the rules here and leave the rest up to the GA to interpret.

Article XII: Erections
The only position in Europa that is elected is the Grand Ayatollah. The Big Cheese serves a 4 month term. However, the GA may call an erection at any time after the first month of his/her/its term. Election sign ups are 3 days long, and the election itself is three days long. If the erection lasts more than four hours, it is advised to seek medical help immediately.

Article XIII: Coups
In the event that a complete idiot takes power in Europa, or the GA starts abusing his or her powers, they may be removed from office upon secret approval by the original founding members of Europa, at which point further action will be taken. This article is intentionally vague to avoid giving away secrets.

The Mogar Accords
We at Europa wholeheartedly support free expression, except when it annoys us. That’s when we want a vicious crackdown on your stupid skull. However, there is a point where we must take action. In the event of the dissemination of private Europa matters, the offender or offending alliance will be held accountable regardless of the method through which they came into possession of the information. Basically, what we’re trying to say is if a private source (or a buddy of yours, whatever) gets private Europa information (including, but not limited to screenshots of our private forums/warchest information) and you post it in a place other than that in which it was originally intended to be posted, Europa will recognize said action as a declaration of war. So don’t do it. Tl;dr, leak our info and we’ll attack.