Gopher City Pippas FC

Gopher City Pippas FC is a soccer team operating in Liga Mundo through the Xpert Eleven website. An application for expansion was submitted on July 31, 2013 and the team was approved for play on September 14 of the same year.

The Pippas currently play in Liga Mundo's Tercera Liga; their second season in that division. Their inaugural season saw a 8-3-5 record and a sixth place finish. Their manager is currently Peter McPiperton.

Season 17
As the Pippas were approved for play just prior to the conclusion of Liga Mundo's 17th season, no competitive matches were played. Instead, the Pips embarked on a "Friendly Tour" in a series of friendlies against other teams before the start of the next season.

Friendlies
The Pippas played one friendly match during season 18, as they were invited to Harvard Island Base Stadium before the last week of the season to face the Secunda Liga's RMI Armed Forces FC. The match ended in a 3-1 victory for the Pippas, thanks to a pair of late goals.

Regular Season
The Pips began their inaugural season in Tercera Liga on October 10, 2013, and finished in 6th place out of nine teams but only five points behind the second-place promotion spot. The season ended with 8 wins and 3 draws, with 4 victories and 2 draws in the season series against other teams.

Copa Cato XI
The Pippas were seeded in last place (29th overall) for this competition, due to their position as an expansion team, and were therefore drawn against 4th-ranked Marseille FC. Despite scoring the first goal of the series and holding a resulting 18 minute lead, the Pippas lost both games and were eliminated from the cup.

UCFA Champions Cup I
The Pippas were entered into the inaugural edition of the reborn UCFA Champions Cup on December 18, 2013 as part of their membership in Liga Mundo. They were eliminated in the first round after a 2-0 loss to the Primera Liga Guajolotes.

Player Transfers
Oct. 29 / 2013: Brent Gascoigne (GK) Nov. 07 / 2013: Alf Horne (D) Dec. 15 / 2013: Kris Higginbottom (D) Dec. 30 / 2013: Herbert Haysbert (F) Jan. 03 / 2014: Colbert Greenfield (GK)

Press Releases
Haysbert gets first goal, second injury 2014-01-15 17:42

Gopher City Pippas FC newest prospect, 17-year-old rookie striker Herbert Haysbert, notched his first Liga Mundo goal in last week's match against the powerhouse London Qwoppers, despite going on to get injured for the second straight game.

"Wooooo, 100% injury rate!" Haysbert was quoted as saying at a recent press conference, while Pippas manager Peter McPiperton hurriedly wrapped the future star forward in layer upon layer of bubblewrap. "Uhh, nothing to see here folks," McPiperton quickly responded to the media, "just, er, some last minute form training."

Meanwhile, an unnamed team spokesman was quick to quell any rumours that the Pippas were employing unsafe training practices.

"Look, all we're trying to do is make sure that Haysbert is healthy enough to get some decent playing time for once... His skills simply aren't going to upgrade if he's stuck on the bench because he tripped over a brick or broke a nail.  I've yet to see a scientific study that says bubblewrap is deadly... It's 98% air, for God's sake, how could he possibly choke to death?"

In unrelated news, rumours have surfaced that team ownership is in talks with BubbleCo, Crisconia's largest bubblewrap manufacturer, regarding naming rights for the Pippa's home stadium next season.

Haysbert uninjured, Jekyll scores 4 2014-01-21 16:46

The Gopher City Pippas celebrated their greatest victory in league history Thursday night, as 17-year-old rookie striker Herbert Haysbert remained uninjured for an entire 87 minutes before being substituted for teammate Laurence Wellens.

"This is a definite high-point in our team's existence", said Pippas manager Peter McPiperton, "and we have our wonderful sponsors at BubbleCo to thank for it. Surely a victory this monumental deserves to get us, oh, let's say an extra 5 points in the standings?"

McPiperton shrugged off suggestions of non-regulation safety equipment by claiming Haysbert's body was naturally giant-roll-of-bubblewrap-shaped.

"Besides, it's not like he even scored a goal," McPiperton went on to say. "Cal someone-or-other... Jake? Jekyll?  Yeah, that's it.  4 or 5 goals?  Not sure, I lost count at some point.  We completely steamrolled them; it's like the other manager never even showed up."

Pippas end season on 5-game win streak 2014-02-09 09:57

The Gopher City Pippas FC ended their inaugural season on a high note, boasting a five-game winning streak headed into the off-season despite a sixth place finish in Tercera Liga.

"Aye, our final place in the league table was a wee bit disappointing," Pippas manager Peter McPiperton responded when prompted by the media, at a press conference that coincided with National Montgomery Scott Impersonation Day. "We were aiming for fifth place in the standings, but we were giving her all she's got, captain. When you look at how close things were in the middle of the pack... only five points separated us from second place.  I'm not ashamed of how we did in the slightest."

The Pippas finished with an 8-3-5 record, and despite winning 4 season series and tying another two, questions remain about the Pippas ability to hold their own against solid competition.

"Sure, three of those series victories were against teams that were never a factor in competition, and River Plate focused on training their youth for the last game of the season," McPiperton went on to say. "But our only two series losses came against the top two teams in the league. We never lost a game by more than two goals, and we managed to remain competitive with teams around us in the standings."

Nevertheless, things looked grim for the Pippas during the middle part of the season, as a six-game winless streak knocked them down from third place in the standings.

"Those two games against Estrella Roja were definitely the turning point in the season," McPiperton said. "We had beaten them in a pre-season friendly, so we were optimistic about our chances against them. Losing to them in both matches was disheartening to say the least."

The final standings show just how important those two matches were. A win in only one of those games would've given the Pippas 30 points and third place in the standings.

Looking ahead, McPiperton sees bright things for the future.

"I have here in my hand a list of players whose skill has improved over the last season," McPiperton told the media, as the nation also celebrated Joseph McCarthy Impersonation Day. "Half of the team is on this list. It would've been more, too, if [Herbert] Haysbert hadn't decided to trip over the penalty box in half his games."

Haysbert, only 17 years old, wasn't the only youth prospect to whose skill hadn't visibly improved by the end of the season. Fellow striker 22-year-old Laurence Wellens remained stuck at 5 skill, as did 18-year-old defender Kris Higginbottom. 22-year-old midfielder Hector Strevans also caused some disappointment by remaining at 7 skill.

In other news, Pippas management confirmed today that BubbleCo, Crisconia's leading supplier of bubble wrap, had secured naming rights for the Pippery for the upcoming season. This comes as no surprise to league insiders, as youth striker Haysbert had been seen wrapped in their products for the past six weeks to protect him from the outside world.