Estanistan

The Peoples' Republic of Estanistan

Estanistan was founded by Bob Hope in the Year 2007, originally envisioned as a Monarchy with The Bob as the figurehead. This plan was amended slightly when the original owners of the land resisted his Mighty Occupation, and The Bob was forced to foment insurrection. It is in this state of revolutionary ideals that The Bob has found contentment.

''Democracy? Hell, no!''

The Bob knows well the hearts of mankind, and he realizes in His Benevolent Wisdom that man secretly desires to be ruled by a totalitarian power monger. However, The Bob is not a stupid man. He knows that to foist such upon the common folk would merely encourage a later insurrectionist to hoist him by the petard, to use the vernacular.

So, he bides his time by pretending to be a man of the people, content to do good by his fellows, and seek the "restoration of human rights and common ownership of the tools of production." The Bob will wait, until power is firmly within his grasp, seething in the shadows until his dominion is extended over every living being.

The Bob Is Wise

Bob Hope rose from the grave in 2003, and with help from some government scientists, has managed to restore almost total motor function. A layer of prosthetic skin has given him a new lease on life, and his reputation made it trivial for him to establish a fanatical cult-like following. Throngs of Bob-lovers converge on the targets of his wrath, destroying everything like a locust swarm. This inspired him greatly, and he sought out and joined The Swarm, a group of like-minded rulers who had already foreseen The Bob's great vision.

They gave him shelter and he cut his leadership teeth under their tutelage, gradually rising to power from what seemed to be a pitiful start.

All Is Not Grand

However, the rise from the grave stained the mind of the once-great man, and his whims are sometimes construed as insane in nature. He has been known to behead subjects for such insults as working on Bobday, speaking out against injustice, or failing to attend mandatory reeducation camps. In Estanistan, all shellfish, mixed-fiber clothing, and more are all prohibited by Bob's Mandate. Slavery and the sale of women and children are encouraged, but only the sale of foreign nationals is truly tolerated. Cripples, those who wear glasses, and those with facial imperfections are prohibited from entering government service.

But not all is Cruel

Bob has kindness in his heart, as well. He ends the suffering of thousands daily, and in the doing has done more to eliminate poverty, hunger, and disease than a hundred saints. Some disagree with his means, but none can argue with the Ends. Bob's Mandate assures us of this.