How the West was Won: A chronological pictoral history of ARES

The Founding of ARES
ARES was founded when Joe Stupid and Caossal picked up Monstermaster in a suspicious van. It is rumored that they used candy to lure the young one in. They drove to the West coast to pick up v0.0v. Dodged a barrage of paintballs, but finally managed to capture the elusive Saphirefenix from America's Hatland. They picked up the creepy and mysterious p0rkSab3r along a desolate stretch of Southern highway, and the van hasn't smelled quite the same since. Barix9 jumped on board, and with infectious motivation, actually added some order to the madness. With the addition of Jotti, Rob26480, Bob the OK, George W Bush, Bob Ilyani, Flameman, and Anubis, a darker funk spread over the van. Inspired, they decided to make this part of their continued quest for all. An alliance was founded, and there is no turning back. The God of War demands that the quest drive ever forward.

And so it shall.



Evidence of Ascended Republic of Elite States activity
Have you ever walked into a public bathroom, only to approach the urinal and find that it has been filled with sauerkraut and spaghetti-o's? Has your doormat been replaced by a flounder? Have you ever walked to your mailbox only to discover that it contains no mail, yet has been filled with cream of mushroom soup? Has your phone ever rung in the wee hours of the morning, and the voice on the other end beckons you to "VOTE WITH YOUR MEAT"? Have you noticed a suspicious van around your neighborhood? Has nonsensical graffiti appeared in your neighborhood containing cryptic messages about the deviant activities of one (1) Magnum T. Gundraw? If so, chances are, your domicile has been invaded by ARES.

Known affiliates
Little is known about the members of ARES. Law enforcement across the US has compiled the following images which bear, based on witness testimonial, the likenesses of known affiliates.