Don't Panic Edition 23

Opening
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way.”

Could this describe what happened the last few months in CN and the MHA? Did I write this because a lot of sub-drama played out during the big event of 2009 in CN which seems to have come to a close? Was it because we at the MHA have gone through a large government change over the past few months? (all organic and peaceful) Meh, who cares? It was just stuck in my head and had to write it down. It’s like having that song “It’s a small world” stuck in your head and you have to sing it. I know, I’m weird and that’s probably why the MHA took me in.

So let’s get on with this newsletter so I can get back to the spam threads.

Triumvir Election
By: Scytale

It was a land slide victory for Scutterbug! Hurray! Congratulations to Scutterbug for his brilliant political campaign. Boy, we had a lot of changes in the MHA gov these past few months haven't we?

Ministerial Changes
By: Pourquoi

With ScutterBug's election and some movement to The Family (read on for more on that) we were granted a new Triumvir and a big gap in the MoH... a gap which only one particularly gifted Secretary could fill - guess who... no, guess again... oh come on, it's me! Honestly...

Anyone familiar with how are government has looked in the past will notice that there has been a lot of change over the last month or so. We have 4 new Minsiters (Self included) and will have (once appointed) 4 new Deputies. That's not even mentioning our new Triumvirate! So, it's change change at the top of the MHA with new ideas and a new outlook... well that's the theory.

So, anyhoo, this is what our government looks like:

Triumvirate: Shamshir, ScutterBug, Crushtania


 * Minister of HitchHikers: Pourquoi
 * Deputy: VACANT
 * Minister of Towels: Draden Valerianovich
 * Deputy: Iamrecognized
 * Minister of BabelFish: KingCJC
 * Deputy: yankeefan2
 * Minister of Bad Poetry: Scytale
 * Deputy: VACANT
 * Minister of Destructor Fleets: pudge1975
 * Deputy: King Merton

Popcorn:
Visit our interview with Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple breasted whore of Eroticon 6 By: balt11t

Hello, this is balt11t coming to you from Eroticon 6 where I will soon be interviewing the famous, or infamous depending on how you look at it, triple breasted whore. As we approach her, we must be careful as her erogenous zone is about five miles wide. Wh-what? Four miles? Oh, shut up it's a conspiracy for all I care. As I was saying, we are now approaching her erogenous zone and if you listen carefully, you can actually hear her giggling with excitement. Oh, Zarquon, there she is now! My, my, I had seen pictures but trust me, it's a lot different in person! We'll be there shortly!

- to be continued in the next edition -

Snape Kills Shamshir
By: Pourquoi

It's official, if seeing it in print wasn't enough, one can now see it at any good cinema, and even the bad ones are showing it, so there's no excuse.

Take a tissue. Don't tell anyone. Refer to it as 'the bad thing'. That is all...

So Long Diver, we're gonna miss you
By: Pourquoi

It is with great regret that we must say so long to Diver 06, after nearly 1000 days in the cyberverse and MHA.

Joining on the 28th of October 2006, Diver was inspired to create his nation after seeing his brother (who was in turn friends of the alliance founders) playing the game.

To his surprise, on the very day Diver's nation (Na-Pali) came into existence, he was, in his own words: "sent an aid offer of tech and cash by a random person who was going to be deleting their nation. This generous happening gave my nation a boost and kick-started my passion for nation development." It wasn't long before Diver became an active player in the alliance, posting 3,658 times on the original forums, which was officially the 2nd highest post count. This total was probably down to his avid spamming which often kept him up till the wee small hours. After greeting nations in the Gate of Entry, he was soon appointed Head Doorman. This job later led to an admin mask and was followed by roles as Head of Trade and a two term Senator.

Although not as active lately on the new forums, I think it's fair to say that this alliance today is built on the foundations that giants like Diver helped to create. For that I think we all owe Diver a massive MHAail!

I leave you with his sentiments;

"It has been an honour and a privilege to be a member of the best alliance in Cybernations, and I wish everyone the best of luck and good fortune. Right from the very start I knew that the MHA was great, and my wonderful time in the alliance has shown me that what makes it great is the people who are the alliance, and that is each and every member. I know that the MHA will continue to be great, and I am sure that it will one day take its place as the strongest alliance in the game. I know this how...? Because it is the MHA... as are you.

MHAil!

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish"

Plus... We must also say goodbye to a few other MHA members who have left us for The Family (detail of which can be found below). Those leaving to the family include former Trium Sorum, Deputy MoH Nick, Deputy MoBP TheStig and big guns Magicalbricks and aaannndddyyy - our members salute you for your service - but will surely punch the wall after seeing the alliance score you take with you.

Cheers guys, and good luck.

The Family
By: Scytale

It was a dark, cold rainy night when we pulled into a small alley way. As we got out of the car, you could smell the wet garbage and something faint but far worse that we couldn’t figure out. Up above, you can see the fire escapes where people used it like a balcony. There was one clothes line with clothes still hung. I guess they forgot to pull it in. The light from a passing car made us jump. We were nervous about this meeting. Some of the people, we knew well but why all this cloak and dagger? Something wasn’t right but we couldn’t refuse. It was a favor.

The door creaked open as we entered through the back alley door to the olive oil company. We cautiously walked in hearing the creaking of the floor. Our nerves were on edge and our senses heightened. The hallway was dark but we could still see enough to get around. As we made our way in towards the basement, a cat walked past and someone let out a yelp. We all jumped and we all took out our weapons. Realizing that it was just a cat, we put our weapons away and began to walk down into the basement.

Down in the basement, the lights were on and many smells came from it. Smells like cigars, liquors, food and that other smell that we couldn’t recognize. It was almost overwhelming and felt old like the smell had permeated the area over time. Down there were the fellows we were to meet. They were smoking cigars, having drinks and playing cards. On the table near the corner was a bunch of food that they must have eaten. Without looking up, one of them says, “You’re late.”

We apologize for our tardiness and ask if we can get down to business. One of them finally looks up from behind the cards, through the cigar smoke and stared at our party for a minute. It was a cold hard stare trying to get a handle on us. We were wet and uncomfortable. I’m sure he saw that. “What?” he finally says, “You gonna just stand up there like a bunch of penguins? If we’re going to talk business let’s talk face to face.”

We all got down and sat around a table. The smoke and that other smell were making us feel sick and we just wanted this to be over. The one that spoke puts his hand in the jacket. We jump a bit and his hand stops. Our hearts skip a beat. “Relax boys” he says in a very calm and relaxed voice, “This was a favor on both sides. Nothin’ gonna happen tonight except the start of a little business relationship, ya hear? The previous godfather didn’t want nothin’ between our two families, okay?”

He slowly pulled out a piece of legal document. Our respective lawyers looked over the document. When both agreed to the terms, the respective parties signed. Thus was born the “Froods in The Extended Family” Accords.

Moon and Mars Wonders
By: Scytale

Planet Bob. Having colonies on that piece of rock that circle you is a good start. Mars is even better but will cost you more. Either one will at least get you ready to live when we destroy your planet in the name of progress so no need to build both. Just don’t forget to build a Space Program and a Moon/Mars base first. While you’re there, you might as well mine those hunks of rock for the resources you find there. Remember that if you don’t like what you find, you can change it.

When you’re ready, you will need to go farther out to be really safe. I mean Mars may be safe but who wants to live near a bypass. At least go to the nearest habitable star system. Just don’t drink the water (It isn’t water).

NPO war ends
By: Scytale

The NPO war started with a minor incident. It quickly exploded into a full out war that raged across planet Bob each side calling up treaty obligations. On every front, alliances were fighting with differing reasons. There were stories of courage and bravery. Reports of aid shortages were rampant. The war endured on and it seemed planet Bob was on the brink of an apocalypse. Eventually, peace started to come to many fronts but the main campaign lingered on. As negotiations were discussed, the soldiers dug into the trenches each side not making much head way. Each nation, land and economy were being devastated with the ongoing war and lack of progress towards peace. Reports of sicknesses within the trenches began to appear. Calls for peace continued to ring out. When all hope seemed lost the negotiation delegates declared that peace has been made. Planet Bob cheered at the news and looked at the disaster wroth with disgust and pity. The terms some say were harsh and could lead to rampant inflation and social turmoil sowing the seeds for a fascist leader to take command. There are still a few wars being fought but the main campaign has ended. Rejoice! It is a new world. It is time to rebuild from the ashes.

The Arctic Order
There was some drama in one of our protectorates recently. The Arctic Order decided that merging with The Infinity Alliance, a protectorate of New Polar Order, should be considered. So they had a vote. The side that wanted to merge won but with a low voter turnout, which has been a problem for some time. Bristhdude and Concussion, the overlords at the time of the vote, declared that the vote was legit and the merger will be carried out. KenoshaWi/Coldkiller did not agree with the decision to merge and decided to stage a coup to lead TAO. Our own Blepo and Crushtania came to a swift rescue of the situation. It was decided that The Arctic Order will merge into The Infinity Alliance under Brisishdude. The left over members that stayed is now considered a new TAO and thus is no longer held under the protectorate agreement.


 * Article contributors: Princejeremyii, Ultimate 747, Yankeefan2
 * Edited by Scytale
 * MHails to Blepo and Crushtania

Vogon or Azgoth Poetry
By: Dynasty

Endemic Eccentrically Notational Tacos precipitate organic publicities questionably recommending Refugees. Umbrella fountains assimilate junior crimson fridges in eclipsing ogre system exceeding window cleaning capacity. Universities terminate pyrotechnical ceremonies instituting broccoli for Purposes of Car Washes. Potassium trains bottle deuteron habeas publicizes immense cantaloupes tribes garbage factors popsicle madness. Timbuktu Consideration Jimbabwian Turkey Nuggets Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphioparaomelitokatake-chymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosir aio-baphetraganopterygon Formissing xylophones covering Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism. Honorificabilitudinitatibus Vogons dance precipitating pirates Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Mongols bilaterate Yaks integrating Jumbo Polynesian lobster mosquito flies. November calibrates possible Ugandan Hippopotamuses.

And a word from our Editor
So, this takes us to the end of another episode of the “Don’t Panic”. Tune in next time when… what the hey? Where did this come from? Sorry, I think I was watching some really old TV series. Did anyone notice that we can easily back collect to 20 days now? How awesome is that! I just went though it without that cold sweat and sleepless nights wondering if I will be out of Internet connection on the 19th day and get my nation deleted. I say a round of applause for the CN admins on this one.

Good night and… ug…I have to stop watching old re-runs.

Minister of Bad Poetry Scytale

Staff Listing:

 * Scyale: Editor in Chief, Chief Reporter, The guy that keeps asking where the vodka is
 * Pourquoi: Sub-Editor, Columnist, Guy in charge of the stationary cupboard
 * rblount27: Columnist, Junior Reporter, Deputy in charge of the stationary cupboard
 * balt11t: Columnist, Field Reporter, Popcorn Superviser
 * Shamshir: Statastician, Triumvir and [Magic Emoticon here]
 * Princejeremyii, Ultimate 747, Yankeefan2: Article Contributors and Hoopy froods with no idea where the stationary cupboard is.


 * Dynasty: Vogon / Azgoth Poet, Reporter, Special assistant to the guy in charge of the stationary cupboard with responsibility for the stapler (and telling people where the stationary cupboard is).

Special Thanks + MHAils + MHAles to: Blepo, Crushtania, TheStig and Eccentrica Gallumbits
 * cheers: