The Pact Made on the Internet

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Preamble
Their eyes met at a record company party, or somewhere like that. They fell into fast and uncontrollable love. However, the candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Passion turns to anger, and before we could say "whirlwind romance" the whirlwind became a tornado. Photographs of her bruised face shocked the newspapers. Charges were filed. The storybook romance was no longer a storybook, unless the book in question was The Woman Who Walked Into Doors.

The point of this preamble is that Umbrella and GOONS are not Rihanna and Chris Brown.

Sovereignty
Umbrella and GOONS are recording artists in their own right. While they may collaborate on duets, they are both entirely entitled to have solo careers, or participate in duets with other people.

Information
GOONS and Umbrella will text each other all the time, especially if the other needs a heads up. Naked pictures are optional.

Non-Aggression
Umbrella and GOONS promise not to raise the pimp hand to each other. This includes acts of violence (military aggression), hacking each other's blackberries (spying), or spreading rumors about each other (sharing state secrets). Should either raise the pimp hand, the other is fully within their rights to send photos of the bruises to TMZ. Oh, and cancel the treaty.

Defense
GOONS and Umbrella have each other's backs. Should anyone start some crap with GOONS, Umbrella promise to honor any request for help. Same goes the other way. If either signatory enters a war through another treaty, this is optional.

Aggression
Sometimes heads need busting. If this is the case, Umbrella may invite GOONS along to any dust-up they find themselves in, although GOONS don't have to join in if they have other plans. Similarly, if GOONS think someone needs to taste the curb, Umbrella will seriously consider putting the boot in.

Economics
GOONS and Umbrella will work together to facilitate each other's addictions to tech, money, and mangosteen.

Dignity
Under no circumstances will Umbrella wear GOONS' panties on their head. GOONS make no such promise.

Timeline- Cancellation
This treaty will be in effect for 30 days. GOONS and Umbrella will decide during this time whether to keep it going or go their separate ways. The decision must be made known at least 48 hours before the treaty expires.

If a party wishes to cancel before, they must give 48 hours notice, during which the treaty is still in effect.

Signatures

Goon Order of Oppression Negligence and Sadism salithus, Pilot Sardonic, Co-Pilot lamuella, Member Emeritus TTaagg, Secretariat Bloodjewel, Strategos

Umbrella Roquentin, Triumvir uaciaut, Triumvir Xavi, Triumvir Jeoh, High Legate