Elijah S. Konderwink

Elijah S. (Smexy) Konderwink|ピカチュウ|Elijū Konderwinkū| is an active member of Random Insanity Alliance. He is a former diplomat and is perhaps best known for his unique method of speech.

Life before RIA
Not much is known about Konderwink prior to his joining of RIA, however he has alluded to being over a century old and perhaps being not of this planet. What is known about Konderwink is that he claims to be British and often makes reference to his heritage, he also has a wife who has a picture of in his signature on the RIA forums.

Mexicuns
At some point in his life Konderwink encountered a creature known as the Mexicun. The experience left him traumatised and the mere mention of a Mexicun will send the relatively mellow fellow crazy. During his time at RIA he has encountered one Mexicun, former RIA member Shamed Monkey. Nothing is known about the event but Elijah proudly displays the fact he survived the encounter, Shamed Monkey has never commented upon it in public. Nothing much else is known about Mexicuns, Konderwink describes them as "Evil" and "Not too friendly". It should be noted that though similar in name a Mexicun and a Mexican are totally different, and Konderwink has expressed he has no ill feelings towards Mexico or it's people.

Joining RIA
In December 2007 Konderwink established the nation The Splendid Kindom, after a few days of rejecting various alliance's offers of joining Konderwink decided to track down his own alliance. He soon stumbled upon the Random Insanity Alliance and liked what he had found, he contacted one of it's top members, Delta1212, and after a few days he joined the alliance.

Soon after joining Konderwink made a membership application topic on the RIA Forums which created quite a stir. Konderwinks topic was greeted with generally positive remarks, the RIA members liking his unique style of writing. Indeed, Delta1212 described the topic as "...The best application topic I have ever read". With that Konderwink was accepted into the alliance.

Diplomatic career
Konderwink found a friend in Delta1212 who, at the time, was Head of Foreign Affairs. Delta asked Konderwink to be one of his diplomats however Konderwink wasn't sure he was up to the task, but after some convincing he took the diplomatic test a passed answering every question correctly.

Despite passing with flying colors, Konderwink still wasn't convinced he could do a good job as a diplomat. With that in mind Delta sent him to the Mushroom Kingdom, a relative ally of the RIA as it was made up of former key RIA members, so the diplomatic job should have been easier while giving Konderwink time in learning the ropes. Konderwink set off for the Mushroom Kingdom and was met with mixed views. Some members found him to be idiotic and called his speech a mere "gimmick" while others, including the MK leader Archon, liked him, finding him to be refreshing and a good representation of RIA.

Konderwink delivered the standard report of the current status of RIA and tried to blend in with the members of MK, this however proved to be a mistake. After a few less than desirable comments about himself and having the biggest "doin it rongs" (Karma in MK) to posts ratio in MK history Konderwink decided to create a topic to address the members of MK about these issues. It didn't go as Konderwink planned and soon his friend, Delta, had to step in to prevent any further confrontation. Delta relieved Konderwink from his position and assumed control of diplomatic duties for MK. With that, Kondweink handed in his resignation and left the diplomatic corps.

Sporadic Appearances and awards
Despite being very popular with most of RIA's members, Konderwink makes few appearances on the forums. At the time of writing he only has 58 posts. He usually posts in topics that feature his friend Delta, often asking him to play on their Xbox 360 game consoles over Xbox Live.

His rare appearances, yet steady popularity, earned him the The Too Awesome to Lurk! Post Moar! ribbon at the first monthly RIA Awards Ceremony. Konderwink made a speech in which he thanked his mother (Commenting on that she was good in the "sack") and thanked his fellow members of RIA.

Method of speech
Perhaps Konderwinks best known attributes is his method of speech, an over-complex English that realise on using uncommon words and literal meanings to describe whatever he is talking about.

For example, he calls the "Random Insanity Alliance" the "Lack of order, purpose, cause, or predictability in non-scientific parlance behaviour influenced by mental instability agreement between two or more parties"

This has gained him a lot of fans and some enemies, many of which have commented that his speech makes him fit right into the RIA fold.

Fighting Style
Konderwink is a practitioner of an extremely violent martial art known as ansatsuken (Japanese: 暗殺拳 murderous/assassin's fist), which incorporated the most violent techniques from a blend of four styles of martial arts, alongside a mysterious sure-killing technique called Shun Goku Satsu. Konderwink teaches the style to anyone who pays him a considerable fee, he vowed to teach a less violent variation of the art created by his unknown master which does not include the discipline's life-threatening techniques such as the Shun Goku Satsu.

Championships & Accomplishments
Too Awesome to Lurk! Post Moar! ribbon (One time) - First